chialcyone
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oder in birthOnly children (girls):
If you're the child of a single mother, you may believe your mother
somehow managed to drive your father away from you. This was less
painful than believing he left due to lack of him caring for you. You felt
some woman-to-woman rivalry at a very young age.
Until you're AT LEAST 7 years old, you'll believe everyone's happiness or
unhappiness is because of you.
You had a lot of pressure as a child, due to your parents' hopes and
fears. You tried to live up to their expectations, and took their wishes
very seriously.
From an early age, you have probably always had at least one goal - and
this continues throughout your life.
You have high standards, and expect the same of others.
MORE THAN ANY OTHER BIRTH ORDER, you rarely do anything by halves
- "all or nothing" is more typical of you.
You have strong and well-thought-out opinions.
You are in fact, more often right than wrong.
You do everything to the best of your ability, and respect others who are
as meticulous as yourself.
OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS, you are a Jill-of-all-trades, and succeed at
mastering them all.
You see things through from start to finish alone, and think "If I want
something done right, I'll have to do it myself".
You invest a lot of time in organisations and movements, and if they fail,
you chalk it up to experience and move on to the next project. You are
rarely without a project for long - mastering a skill or teaching it, learning
a new dance, or taking up a new interest.
You are the most independent
OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS
You are headstrong.
You are not very tactful.
You have such an air of self-confidence, that people do not realise your
need for appreciation and praise, so no-one reaches out to pat you on the
head. A heavy price to pay for appearing so strong. Everything you can
do to reveal your underlying humanity and feelings, will help
considerably to remedy this.
You protect your privacy with a poker face, so no-one can guess the true
state of your inner feelings.
Not many people get really close to you - but those who do, learn to trust
you totally.
You are extremely loyal.
You are extremely dependable, and very proud of that.
You pride yourself on your honesty, and can even be "self-righteous"
about it.
You are tolerant and supportive of those who openly admit their
limitations. Therefore, you are a very caring mother and an excellent
schoolteacher - except for your belief that there should be no fighting
whatsoever.
You will put up with a great deal of failure by subordinate people.
You are a good listener. You never give other people's secrets away.
You can become extremely angry if others break your confidentiality.
You are not very trusting of your women friends, and you have a great
turnover in your "Female Best Friend" department. You don't mind your
male friends' failures - but have a short fuse with women. You are likely
to bolt at the first sign of anything seen as bad faith on their part.
You will not accept criticism, no matter how tactfully it's presented.
OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS, you are most inclined to be a loner - but you
don't mind, and often prefer it.
OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS, you are most likely to remain single.
You're a good sport about losing games, money, and horse races etc.
Only Children (Boys):
OF ALL MALE BIRTH ORDERS, you are most likely a Mummy's Boy. If your mother was single, she probably reached
towards you as her main source of comfort and support. You may have
wanted a father figure, but at the same time, felt resentment at another
male invading your territory. Therefore, being left alone with your
mother was not easy, as mutual dependency, possessiveness, and
jealousy, thrive in such a climate, undiluted by no other children.
If your mother tried to divert these problems, she may have avoided
coddling you, and have withheld sympathy and comfort at crucial times.
Or she sent you out into the world at a young age, to stand on your own
two feet. If this was the case, you probably now have a strong need to
go it alone, and rarely permit yourself to need other people's help or
care.
Sometimes your father is the most important companion when you're a
child - this is especially so if he is a withdrawn man. He may be a strong,
silent type, who makes you his "Strong Right Arm". You do all in your
power to please him.
Parents of ONLY CHILDREN have been unexplainably proven to be
reclusive, with the result your childhood experiences were probably
limited, and you grew up with difficulty in "group relations". You prefer
one-to-one friendships.
Your closest friend is usually another ONLY CHILD , though sometimes he
may be an OLDEST BOY Your loyalty to him is deep. Often, your friend
is called an "odd-bod" or "loner", but this does not matter to you.
You are less inclined THAN ANY OTHER BIRTH ORDER to share your
friends - even to introduce them to each other.
You had so much difficulty in competition and sharing as you grew up.
If you marry, you become totally possessive - but you are more likely
THAN ANY OTHER BIRTH ORDER to remain single.
You have a strong liking of people your parents' age, and also people
older than them. As a child, you do not like the company of children your
own age, or younger, but as an adult, your friendships include people
across a whole range of age levels. But you will always have an
exceptional tolerance for much older people.
You like long walks alone, spending time alone in a library, and other
solitary pursuits.
OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS, you put on a brave front, while keeping your
deepest hopes, fears, and opinions to yourself.
You hide your feelings well. People are shocked when they see the
underlying feelings beneath your usual calm surface.
As a toddler, you were extremely articulate. Your parents were
fascinated, and you grew up believing everyone else is fascinated by your
voice.
You are prone to egocentricity, as you grew up feeling you had the "right"
to be heard. You enjoy monologues, and can bore people. ONLY GIRLS
have more idea when their audiences are becoming bored, than you.
You were narcissistic as a child, and probably are still. Do you rarely ask
others how they feel, or what's happening in their lives? Do you often fail
to see the repercussions which you may have on others' lives? When
you are complimented, are you a glutton for flattery? If you are insulted,
do you react with rage, which may continue for years?
OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS, you will nurse a grudge, brought on by injured
narcissum. If this goes on too often, you will be more and more socially
isolated, as you lose your friends and associates.
All the above can be improved by taking a little time each day to imagine
what it might be like to be in someone else's shoes.
Oldest Children:
You have much in common with the ONLY CHILD.
When your brother or sister came along, you had many decisions to think
about - whether to compete, by re-developing your infancy; or whether
to upstage them by being brighter and more talented; or maybe to
withdraw; or else to befriend them, and act like a parent to them. BY
FAR, THE MOST COMMON REACTION THE WORLD OVER, IS THE LAST
SOLUTION.
Due to your dethronement, you may have tried to attract negative
attention and become a problem child - or else withdrawn to the sidelines.
But if you were still regarded as the more important, or special child - up
until the next child was 4 years old - your supremacy remains forever. If
not, you should stop trying to recapture your lost supremacy by
continuing to seek importance in your parents' eyes. Instead, you should
find people outside your family, who will give you loving support. Trying
to swim against the current, will only exhaust you, and add to your
frustration and anger.
As a child, you often got told to babysit the others for a short time, which
you may have enjoyed, but more likely resented. As soon as your
parents' backs were turned, hell broke loose, and you showed how you
really felt.
As you grew up and had to really babysit, you probably enjoyed the
authority at first, but the novelty soon wore off, and you felt unfairly
burdened. You felt cheated, being taken away from your own interests,
and the youngsters were aware of your annoyance, as well as the fact
that you weren't the Real Boss. So they did everything to try your
patience, until you lost control, and were quite nasty in return. Even
today, you may feel guilty of some of your retaliations, and are hard on
yourself for it. But the little ones have long ago forgiven you, as they
knew they deserved it.
The biggest problem you experienced, was that you were rarely
permitted to be just a child. You were constantly encouraged to mature
quickly, before you were ready.
You have grown up with a "life is real - life is serious" outlook.
You feel self-critical perfectionism, and have strong feelings of
as you turn your anger and aggression inwards.
You are reluctant to seek help when distressed - something your brothers
and sisters do easily. You consider it okay for them, but not for you.
You bottle up your problems.
You are the worst worriers OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS. You appear to carry
the weight of the world on your shoulders.
You were probably the only child who was told of your parents' problems,
whether about illnesses, or household finances etc. etc., which adds to
your distress and worry.
Although distressing, you WANT to know everything that is happening,
and feel angry and helpless when people don't confide in you.
Secretiveness by people close to you (family, close friends, lovers) is a
definite no-no. You may hide your feelings with indifference, or else show
anger, or jealousy.
If the age gap was 6 years or more between you and your next brother
or sister, you are like the ONLY CHILD, and have an ability for total
involvement in your interests.
People see you as a person of experience, know-how, and
self-confidence, and it's almost impossible for them to imagine how much
you do fret and worry. If they do find out, they appreciate your
humanity in not being perfect. All that remains is for YOU to appreciate it!
You take on too much in the self-sacrifice department. You can become a
packhorse for everyone else's problems, and you must learn how to say no.
OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS, you are by far the least comfortable with people
your own age. You prefer to be with people much older or younger than yourself.
Your closest friends are usually OLDEST or YOUNGEST CHILDREN in their families.
You, like ONLY CHILDREN, have a stronger desire for privacy than most
people, and enjoy being alone.
But at the same time, you have a desire for settling down with a
permanent love partner, in whom you invest whatever needs you have
for closeness and companionship, while letting the rest of the world go by.
Middle Children:
It's difficult to define Middle Child, unless there's 3 children, all fairly
evenly spaced out, and of the same sex.
If there are 4, or 6 children, two of them are in the middle.
If there's one child, followed 8 years later by 2 others fairly close in age,
the second is the middle one strictly speaking, but is more likely to be
treated like another OLDEST CHILD.
Also, the middle child of 3 boys, will grow up differently to a boy between
2 sisters, or a girl between 2 brothers.
Also, if the Oldest child is handicapped, you were probably treated as the
OLDEST CHILD instead. It is all quite complicated.
Already, you are being moved about and lost in the shuffle of the
previous descriptions, and that is how your life actually goes - you
experience a life-long and neverending search for belongingness. You
feel like an extra, and a left-over. You live in fear of being upstaged, by
your older and younger brothers and sisters - and everyone else.
You felt you were in a "heads-you-win, tails-I-lose" situation. You were
told you were too young to do the things the oldest child did, and too old
to do what the youngest did.
You make friends at school or in the neighbourhood at a much earlier age
than your brothers and sisters did. Many mothers of a MIDDLE CHILD
will say, "I only see that child at meals and bedtimes!". You find a gang
of your own outside the family, and rarely, or never, ask your brothers
and sisters to join in. It may be a club or a team or a gang, but you feel
it is all yours. Your family regards you as an outsider.
You have a lack of family loyalty, and a strong peer loyalty. Most
children of other birth orders, disregard their family's feelings, between
the ages of 12 & 18, and care only for their friends' opinions. But this is
usually resolved before the age of 30, where both forces get into some
degree of balance. But in your case, this is usually postponed, perhaps forever. It's as though you're saying, "I'll never forgive you for the
unimportant position you put me in".
You are the most secretive OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS. As a child, you felt
"You never showed an interest in me, so don't expect me to confide in
you now".
You are suspicious of other people's motives.
You have a great reluctance to become passionately involved with anyone or anything.
You may interest yourself in several things, but do not become seriously
excited about any of them.
At work, you can be careful and conscientious, but rarely get turned on about it.
You create an emotional distance between yourself and the outside world.
You have many acquaintances, but few real friends.
You build a protective wall around yourself and your feelings. It keeps
attackers at bay, but prevents a lot of caring, sympathetic people from
entering and enriching your life.
You are a very private person, whose deepest feelings can only be
guessed at by others.
You give the appearance of someone who is very modest and self-effacing.
You may appear strong, but this is the opposite of the truth - your
feelings are more easily hurt than most people (excepting the ONLY
GIRL).
You are very prone to embarrassment, and don't want to appear stupid or unsophisticated.
Your sensitivity can cause you to have a short fuse with others. You like
to give back what you've been dished out, and more! If someone gives
you one punch, you'll make sure to give them two - no matter how long
you have to wait to do it.
You seldom forgive, and you NEVER forget!
In relationships, if anyone causes your displeasure, you are able to drop
them immediately from your life. You have a rare ability to terminate
any relationship without ceremony, once you decide to do so. You
underestimate the impact you can exert on others.
You like to keep an upper hand whenever possible, and discourage
challengers to your ascendancy. As a parent, or teacher, you have a lot
of patience and tolerance towards the limitations of those under you. But
if they try to steal your thunder, you will not put up with any one-upmanship.
You are not known for excesses of empathy or generosity. If you do not
like pepper, you may neglect to make sure pepper is available for dinner
guests. Or if you prefer tea to coffee, the chance are that coffee will be
banned from your household.
You are a stickler for rules, and make good lawyers and union reps.
OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS, you are the rarest of people to seek the services
of anyone in the helping professions. You suffer in silence.
You have fantasies of being "discovered" and put on a pedestal. You
dream of having impact on others.
OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS, you are the most monogamous and faithful. Like
the ONLY CHILD, once you settle down with a love partner, it is usually
for keeps. Whatever is unpleasant in this relationship, will never get
known beyond your own door. Living with someone is not something you
take lightly. You are cautious before settling down, and check out what
you are getting involved with.
You put your close relationships in separate compartments e.g. a love
partner, a relative, a close friend, a favoured child - but you keep them
all in ignorance of exactly what the others mean to you.
You respect others' privacy, and never ask questions, no matter how
curious you may be.
You are a comfortable person to be with, in any situation which is not
emotionally heavy.
Your freedom from dependent neediness others experience, gives you an
aura of sexual charisma, which others can find magnetic. OF ALL
BIRTH ORDERS, you are the most popular - well-liked, attractive and
sexy.
Youngest Child:
Being last, you were probably treated by your parents, brothers and
sisters with bossiness; coddling; adoration; and dislike - all at once!
This caused you an unusual amount of confusion as to what kind of
person you really are. You grew up with those distorted mirrors one sees
at carnivals, each giving back a different image of a Short You; a Tall
You; a Fat You; a Skinny You etc. You are in need of accurate
feedback, which will give you a more stable self-image.
THESE FEELINGS ALSO ARISE IN THE ONLY CHILD OF SEPARATED
PARENTS.
You tend to wonder if you can solve problems rationally.
At work, you may feel like God's gift to your boss and co-workers one
day, and a hopeless loser the next.
In romance, you see yourself as a perfect lover on one occasion, and a
total flop the next - even with the same partner.
You can feel like a tower of strength one minute, and a weakling the next.
You feel you are on a see-saw, and no-one is more puzzled or distressed
by it all than you.
You see-saw between high energy & paralysis; goal-seeking and
procrastination; confidence & discouragement; desire for acceptance &
nose-thumbing etc.
Underneath your negative feelings is a great deal of anger. So if you can
accept the "furious child" in yourself, and allow yourself to feel the anger,
your depression will probably lift. Don't think - as last-borns usually do -
that your anger won't make a tiny speck of difference in the world, and
you'll just end up humiliated. But also, don't be inclined to blame others
rather than yourself, for whatever is tormenting you.
As a child, you received more than your fair share of blame. Older
children think if they blame you, they'll be out of trouble - and you'll be
excused as you're the baby. Still, you may be punished, and have grown
up with a skill of denial. Having been told so often you're in the wrong,
you are more clever than you think, at putting others in the wrong, and
blaming them.
You have an ascerbic tongue, and can hurt people's feelings much more
deeply than you realise.
You have a deeply felt yearning to be part of "a club" or similar. But as
soon as you're accepted, you're likely to resign, usually in a fit of
impatience or annoyance. This is particularly so, if your contribution was
not sufficiently recognized.
OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS, you have a burning desire to make an
important contribution to the world. Your fantasy is to experience
applause and public acclaim, and you will make back-breaking efforts to
reach this goal.
If any of your elders gave you even a tiny pat on the head, it was enough
to inspire a re-doubling of effort from you. You are a push-over for praise of any type.
You don't know when to quit doing something e.g. if you're painting a
picture, someone has to hit you over the head when it's finished, so that
you won't go on and on. The same for writing books, stories, or music.
You are usually an engaging show-off, and enjoy the lime-light.
You often have a rollicking sense of humour, which may take the form of
clowning. Satire and mimicry are your strong points, and you can have a
roomful of people in stitches.
You can charm the world in various ways - or else grow up with a feeling
you need to gain attention by being a problem child; a pest; or a rebel.
Most last-borns are a mixture of charmer and rebel, and people are
caught off-guard when you are endearing one minute, and difficult the
next.
One of your most engaging qualities is openness.
But you do know how to keep a secret almost as well as the MIDDLE CHILD.
You can also be an excellent liar, though most of your fibs are on the
over-elaborate side. But you fear being caught out, and most often,
choose total and complete honesty in all matters.
OF ALL BIRTH ORDERS, APART FROM THE ONLY CHILD, you have
curiosity and tendency for exploration, involving unfamiliar
neighbourhoods, countries, continents, and physical experiences. You
rush in where more timid souls fear to tread, with no fear of getting lost.
Your fear is that you will be emotionally lost - left in limbo, left by other
people, especially lovers. You feel that at any moment, they may
abandon you.
If you were born 8 or more years after your previous sibling, you were
most likely an accident. Or your parents may have wanted one last child
before their child-bearing days were over, in which case you were
greeted with excitement and enthusiasm. But more than likely, you were
a mistake, and may well have been told so throughout your childhood. If
this was the case, you probably spent the rest of your life leaning over
backwards, to avoid further displeasing anyone.
chiaye is considered as the 'youngest child' .. and it seeems true, you guys?
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